Ar Tonelico is taking to long, so for this week I’m going to talk about harem’s for a bit. Mainly becasue Harem Kingdom had a cool concept that it did fuck all with, and I want to talk about a subject that is super common, but is either talked about with derision or obsession from a point of view of someone who really doesn’t particularly care for harem’s either way. They can be good or infuriating.

Before talking about the main points though, I want to specify what I mean by harem. When it comes to the otaku space it can be used for a few different things, mainly when it comes to multiple potential love interests versus multiple actual love interests. I’m focusing on actually being together, as that is a bit rarer but more interesting. Most of what I say can apply to mixed harems or reverse harems, but I’m mostly focusing on the typical male lead and a bunch of cute girls as that is the most common type.

First I guess is what Harem Kingdom did that actually sparked my interest. As you would expect from the name, Harem Kingdom is a VN with a harem in it but yet it still had routes. In concept, these routes are suppose to show case 5 different forms that the main harem can take. These vary from a man takes charge, to the girls fawning over him, to some weird reverse harem thing. None of these actually matter though, cause all it actually does is change who the focus heroine is and what jokes or comedy the route will focus on as it makes fun of the harem. This is mostly becasue of the spineless wimp of a main character the VN has, who always focuses on the girls first. Which is in theory admirable, but even the girls point out how frustrating it is that he doesn’t actually take charge or stick to any kind of favoritism. In being nice and trying to keep everyone happy and equal, he comes across as spineless and a weak leader. Which is exactly what the lead of a harem cannot be.

Now this is mostly my opinion and it’s all fantasy and wish fulfillment stuff any way, but harems need specific kinds of leads to really work. The most common is the generic nice guy who accidentally makes every attractive women he meets fall for him, and eventually they get him to accept them all as lovers. Which might be the least realistic and most boring lead you can have. A lot has been and will be said about the generic nice guy somehow wooing anything around them, but my main issue is there is no motive. While I’m not a fan of getting the girl being the male’s motive in a story, for harems it is actually important that the guy actively either gets the girls on his way to a goal(like Funbag Fantasy does it) or the girls are either the goal themselves(Highschool DxD, kinda) or are in some way required for the goal to be achieved(any of those sleep/get with x to get power settings).

Why is the motive important? Beyond giving the plot direction, which a lot of harems lack, it makes the male active. Which makes him more attractive because he’s doing things. This basically makes the entire premise more fun. It helps if the guy wants a harem anyway. Something a lot of harem show leads don’t want for some weird reason. Usually to stall anything happening ever, which is it’s own brand of annoying. Beyond being motivated, it’s almost a requirement for the guy to have self confidence or some level of actual desire + not being scared of women.

Basically a good harem lead has three traits. Wants a harem, has some sort of quest or goal that gets him girls on the way, and can take charge and be the leader the harem needs. Only after getting those three traits can a good harem story begin, and Harem Kingdom fails at all three of. He has no goal, the only reason the girls are bound to him is basically keeping the energy crisis of the world from happening, and he is a spinless wimp who only sleeps with the girls because he physically has to or he dies.

But what about the actual type of harems, the cool idea the game actually had? While the game is a very poor attempt at exploring different harem types, I do wish something did it right since it’s such an interesting idea. Seeing how the cast changed based on the goals or style of relationship would have been fun. Though Harem Kingdoms idea of 5 different harems is also kind of odd. Reverse harem can be ignored. You have pamper the guy with affection, or a doting harem of derederes. A competition style where the girls are actively trying to be the guys favorite, which honestly could have made for its own VN. Then you have a king’s harem and manly harem. Basically be willing to give orders and have things your way. The game does a garbage job of actually separating these two when describing them, though I think it’s the idea of a harem with a goal you command versus a harem you give orders to for your own convenience/desires. I think band of adventurers with missions versus a noble with girls at your beck and call are a good way to make a distinction.

Another failure of Harem Kingdom is that it doesn’t set up a top wife. Despite having routes for each girl, kind of, no girl really stands at the top of the pecking order. Which is really weird, since 4 of the 5 girls each have a valid reason for taking that number 2 spot, but protag-kun is to nice to have a favorite. Which is actually a pretty poor idea. A healthy harem, or at least an interesting one, should have a number 2 to take charge when the guy is down and actually manage the aspects of the harem the guy doesn’t want to or can’t. A pecking order gives the girls something to actively work for, while also giving them a role or position within the mock family they are in. Roles are incredibly important for peace and happiness.

Anyway, a lot of harem’s are used as a cheap writing trick, just like isekai. Each girl is essentially a storyline you can use to advance( or more commonly, not) the story at large. The girls act as an easy hook into whatever misadventures you want the lead to participate in, while also serving as easy merchandise fodder. Which is of course the actual most important reason harems are popular for business’s, each girl is a set of goods you can sell at a premium. It also kind of works in a similar vein to the idea of a character for everyone, where any girl can get a paying customer into a product so a wide variety of girls is convenient.

So I’m going to go though a few harem’s I can actually remember and note some stuff. This is mostly rambling at this point-

I think High School DxD is probably the best harem thing in existence. The girls plotlines are active, Issei is a pretty good guy past his perversions which makes the romance at least believable, he wants a harem with a focus on big tits, the top wife is likeable and obvious, Issei himself has character development to explain the lack of relational development, the girls are comfortable with the harem, and the harem is kind of a side thing to the actual plot. It hits every thing I really want from a good harem thing plus a lot of fanservice that the girls readily participate in. I just wish the DS game was translated.

How not to Summon a Demon Lord takes 10 volumes of light novels for the protag to make a move on his two main heroines(who he is married to), and then immediately goes back to being a coward. Plus the elf made out with the cat’s aunt and learned special tongue skills to literally knock the other two out and I can’t decide if this is NTR or not. MC has also had foreplay only sex with four girls that are not his main girls, which makes me wonder why he has two main love interests.

Evenicle should have a good harem, but Aster ruins it by treating them like conquests and sex tools. The relationship between the girls is good, and Aster is in charge. He also wants a harem. He also doesn’t seem to give a damn about his girls mental desires at all and just wants to bang the next thing. While that desire can be fun, it makes him come across a walking penis instead of a character, making him frustrating at best. Two’s doctor is only slightly better by having something else to talk about. Aggressive pervy male is not the same as being indiscriminate.

The casual harem of things like Daibanchou or Kamidori are just weird to me. I get writing it like that is needed for there to be a lot of h scenes, but then you have Will from Kamidori just not being the right kind of guy to cheat or be actively sexual with a bunch of partners. Here the harem doesn’t fit becasue the lead feels like a side character or a family man and does indeed end up in committed one on one relationships. For some reason.

Funbag Fantasy is also a really solid harem series. The guy actively wants the ladies, but the main story is their rise in power. That rise just happens to coincide with the dude getting the affection and hands of those ladies.

Arifureta is a decent attempt at the guy has old world values but eventually deals with them. It’s a silly series overall, but the idea that the other girls win him over to a harem and that the lead wife is settled before the other relations even begin is a decent compromise to other stories were nothing ever happens despite traveling with women for months. Or living with them. 16-20 year olds for both genders are usually not chaste, especially in fantasy land where people tend to die young.

Fall in Labyrinth is actually pretty similar to Harem Labyrinth, the full length sex anime for this season. You’d think filling out your party with people who know you intend to sleep with them would be more common in porn.

And that’s enough. I don’t think I actually said anything meaningful here. If you can think of an actual good harem game, recommend it. I could use the variety.